Friends

       “If your friends don't make fun of you, they're not really your friends.”

As the heat continuously emerging, I came up with these thoughts. I was awakened from a deep sleep. I’m like living in the agony of defeat. I asked these questions to myself for a million of times. Why? Why could it be something like this? Why could it have to be this way? Why could those stuffs have to change? Maybe these are only my basis as a friend. As a friend, I used to make fun of them all the time. Are you a friend of mine? Are you real or not? 

            I may sometimes be an idiot to them as I’ve done this. I have certainly been betrayed by several friends and when it happens, it's really awful especially when it happened more than once. You seriously need to find real friends as false friends are very emotionally draining. I tried not to live in the past. There comes a time in your life when you stop chasing after people, it’s not what you called giving up, it is realizing that you don’t need certain people with the bullshit and drama that they bring. I’ve been left by some of my friends that I used to call as a family to me. But that necessarily means that I’m done, I just started over and find someone new. They have brought the flood; they left me drowning and didn’t come back. The tides are getting higher, but still, I managed to survive. I saved myself. I didn’t sink, I just swim. I removed my pride once just to bring them back to me, but that wasn’t good enough. It didn’t work. I keep on realizing that they won’t come back anymore. I’ve always kept in my mind that they’re just a purpose. They used to be a challenge to my journey even though it’s hard for me to think about it. I just don’t want to feel that thing no more. I’m sick and tired of begging and waiting for the things that I want. I’m feeling numb from all that has become. It’s like leaving your gums, slipping down your tongue, and traveling fast down towards your lungs. And it’s just all because I’m leaving that all behind. I tallied it up, I settled all the scores.



            I still can’t believe the troubles that they’ve caused. The pain that I feel is getting stronger like an open wound without the gauze. It’s on my mind, it’s driving me insane. But that was before, and I’m a lot of better now. Enough is enough, I’m done. Let’s just move on and accept the fact that it won’t come back. It won’t let you down. I know that the truth hurts, but this is the time to realize something that will make you want to start. Make and find new friends. Find someone that will make fun of you too, that will never leave you behind. You don’t need a lot of it, but just a few true friends that you can really trust.